I Am Kikyo
by LADIxAKIRA
Summary: This is a one shot story where Kikyo is reflecting over past events of her life and what wills her to continue to go on despite all the bad things that have happened to her.


I am Kikyo: A One Shot.

I am Kikyo, Shinto Miko, and former keeper of the Shikon No Tama.

I am Kikyo, yet not Kikyo.

But a mere shadow of my former self.

My former self. Yes, I was once a living human being. Now I'm just a clay body harboring the stolen souls of other maidens. Yes, I am the walking dead but I do not live for I am not alive.

I'm a lost soul walking this earth. I see others and long to join the living once more. I long to have my old life back. But that wasn't really a life. I was not free to enjoy all that life had to offer. I was a miko and I had responsibilities. I was not free to laugh and play. I was not free to marry. I was not free. That's not living at all.

But when a certain half demon came along, he changed my life forever and for that moment, I was alive again.

XXX

''Inuyasha, come sit with me.''

Inuyasha stepped from behind the tree. He was astonished that Kikyo knew he had been there. He had been following her all week and she never let on that she felt his presence until today. He went to her and sat down in front of her.

''Still trying to get the jewel, I see.''

''Yeah well, why don't we skip the talk and you can hand it over right now.''

''In due time, Inuyasha. I want to talk to you about something first.''

''I'm listening,''

Inuyasha tried to appear disinterested but actually wanted to hear what the miko had to say.

''I know you desire the jewel to become full demon. I don't hate you for that. I have my own desires as well but I could never use the jewel for my own personal gain, at least not in the way you would use it.''

''What do you desire, miko?''

''I wish to be free. Free of my duties. If I had of known the responsibilities I would be acquiring when I accepted, I never would have accepted.''

''What's so harsh about your life?'' Inuyasha asked in a mock tone. He thought that the miko couldn't be serious but one look in her eyes told him that she was. She lowered her head then raised it back up again.

''You are like me. We are not normal. We do not fit in. Wouldn't it be great if we finally could?''

This got Inuyasha's attention. All his life he wanted to fit in with the people that surrounded his mother. He wanted to be like them. He wanted to be accepted by them and he wasn't because he was half human.

''Yeah it would be great. But it will never happen.'' He shrugged it off. That was a dream that will be deferred for a long, long time.

''On the contrary. Inuyasha it can happen. With the jewel. We can both be normal.''

''I thought you said you would not use it for your own personal gains.''

''I said not in the way you would use it. You would wish to be a full demon. I would not wish to be normal but if you wished to be a full human, the jewel will become purified and it would disappear and I would not have to protect it anymore. I would be free from my duties.''

''That would really happen?''

''Yes, all you have to do is wish on the jewel.''

''I'll think about it.''

''You do that. In the meantime, how about we take a little boat ride on the lake?''

Kikyou stood up and and started walking, Inuyasha followed her.

XXX

We took that boat ride. I sat down, relaxing for the first time in a long time as he rowed. I think it was at that moment that I began to develop feelings for him. Underneath his tough, brash exterior, he was really sweet and trustworthy. We talked some more while on that boat and by the end of the ride he had agreed to become human and that's when we shared a bittersweet moment. When we docked, he stepped onto the moor first and I followed suit but I tripped and he caught me. We looked into each others eyes and then we hugged. That felt like the first day for the rest of my life. But that was short lived. While that day brought me joy, the next day would bring pain.

XXX

''Do you really think that I would use the jewel to become a human? Foolish woman!''

''Inuyasha...how...could you?''

Inuyasha gave a wicked grin and walked off with the jewel, leaving Kikyo to bleed to death. Kikyo laid there for a few minutes before she willed herself to stand up. How could Inuyasha betray her like that? She went after him, leaving a trail of blood. When she found him she attacked him. She had wondered why Inuyasha had been dumbfounded when he saw her bleeding. He acted like he didn't know how she got the wound on her shoulder. How dare he act like he did nothing wrong! She chased him into the forest and cornered him near a tree.

''Die, Inuyasha!''

She pinned him to a tree with her sacred arrow which put him in a dead-like sleep. She died shortly afterwards, after instructing her sister Kaede to have the jewel cremated with her body.

XXX

I died hating him. I died never knowing the circumstances surrounding my death. But I know now. Naraku robbed me and my beloved of any chance we had of a normal life together. Because of him, Inuyasha and I can never be as we once were.

I can never be who I once was.

But I have resolved to bring down Naraku for the pain he has caused me. I will not rest until he is destroyed once and for all. This is what wills me to go on. My hatred for him, not my hatred for Inuyasha. But despite my newfound purpose to ''live'' among the living, the fact still remains...

I am Kikyo, Shinto Miko, and former keeper of the Shikon No Tama.

I am Kikyo, yet not Kikyo.

But a mere shadow of my former self.

THE END.


End file.
